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Rather than seeing where your relationship would go over time, you tried to catch him, and you did. Having an active profile on Tinder when you’re in a relationship tells the world that you’re single and looking.
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This has been dragging on for a tortuously long time, you need to move on with your life.
Mary O’Conor I live in a small village in rural Ireland. The problem is that I have found out that her daughter who lives in America has married a woman. My friend is a very devout Catholic and campaigned very strongly against the same-sex marriage referendum in our locality.
To me, whether it's a man or a woman he's cheating with is largely irrelevant here, it's the serial and repeated nature of his cheating and his lack or remorse which is the concern.
Why was the cheating with women more forgivable to you than with men to you? I understand that his cheating with men comes with the added shock that he might not be straight - but it's the same principle, the same betrayal.
Something is missing in your relationship if he feels the need to communicate with women on a dating app. I’d want to be in a relationship built on mutual trust. I’m sorry you’re going through this now, but being on a dating site when you’re in a relationship is disrespectful. My best advice to you is as follows: The next time to have trust in a new relationship. Men don’t like being with an insecure needy person. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Something is also wrong in your relationship if you feel you need to check up on him. I can’t say if it’s a deal breaker for you, but as soon as you tell him you’ve busted him with a fake Tinder profile, or make up a white lie and say that someone found him on Tinder, I guarantee he will break up with you.
But he thinks I should just forgive and forget and move forward like nothing's happened.
Honestly, I feel like I've just been a cover for his family because he's not able to come out. I need to address a particular bug bear of mine, and that's you snooping on his emails. You didn't stumble into his email inbox while attacking the laptop with your feather duster. But that doesn't entitle you to snoop on his private communications. Now that the scolding is over, let's address what you did find on your "clean".
He sounds like a classic case of wanting his cake and eating it - he wants to have sex with anything with a pulse, but expects you to be the perfect housewife waiting loyally at home for him?
I don't believe the 'once a cheat, always a cheat' philosophy.
That includes taking down all dating profiles in good faith to see where the relationship will go. It would be one thing if someone in a relationship was on all of the time. Many people are finding love on social media, but Tinder is a dating (and even known as a hookup) app.