After all, it’s likely that “being yourself” hasn’t exactly gotten you to where you want to be. When we look at people who have something we want – whether it be material success, a skill or talent or even just a hot girlfriend – it’s only natural to try to be more like them.

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An attitude of “This sucks, this will never work, I’ll never_______, only _____ people get to do _____,” only guarantees that you are indeed correct; it won’t ever work, nor will you ever do whatever it is that you’ve been hoping.

They’re self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that you allow to take over your life and restrict you from achieving what you hope to achieve. When you tell yourself that you will never ________ because only X guys do _______ and you’re not X, you’re artificially cutting yourself off from any and all possibilities.

Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.

Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…

Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.

It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.

I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…

The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.

In short: your own desires are sabotaging your efforts to slake them.

As paradoxical as it may seem, you will never have better success at getting laid or finding a relationship by had it right: you get laid more by not trying.

If you believe no woman could possibly find you attractive, you will elide over all evidence to the contrary – women flirting with you, giving you the “come-hither” stare or even just smiling at you – and focus like a laser on every incidence of negativity.