Retrieving chat messages from dating websites 41 year old teacher dating 18 year old student
A couple days into my quest for love, I was getting messages from some people who lived five miles away, and others who lived in Germany and Japan.
So someone flagged the picture because it doesn’t show her face. For the same reason that they vote for asshole politicians and 'cause all the other problems they cause in the world: because they’re assholes. I look at this stuff, I look at politics and I think people are idiots and there’s just no hope for them.
I haven’t done a lot with it because most of the complaints, like this one, are total crap. What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen during your time as a moderator?
Many Ok Cupid moderators are pulled from the site’s userbase and just six months after signing up for the singles site, Cantwell was elected to the army of arbiters who review posts flagged by Ok Cupid users and are tasked with marking the profiles “deleted,” “left alone” or “can’t tell.” Moderators can see comments from other moderators and how they ruled on an issue, but not who those moderators are or what ultimately happened to each of the posts in question.
Ok Cupid’s arbiters of right and wrong also have access to the profiles of people who were flagged, though not the people doing the flagging.
Ok Cupid did not respond to requests for additional information on how it works with its moderators. There are strict guidelines for profile pictures -- no nudity, it must be of you (no "pets, cars, artwork, etc."), no extreme closeups -- and a predictable set of rules governing good behavior -- no spamming, no hate speech, no harassment, no "commercial solicitations," no “crude, overt sexual remarks" and no threatening messages.
Cantwell walked us through life as an Ok Cupid moderator and what happens on the side of the Internet most never see. Users can flag a profile and then the profile gets put into what’s basically a queue for the moderators to go through. People report things like, “There’s a picture of their car” and I’m like, “I don’t care if they post a picture of their car, I don’t care what the rules are.” Out of a few dozen, I’d say I’ve only flagged two or three for deletion.
I attempted to reach out to the sites as well to see if they could offer insight into success stories or the number of users, but their representatives said they couldn’t disclose any data about their users. Since I find the notion of paying for online dates a little too similar to paying for sex, I gave up on the site.
In addition, it wouldn’t let me set my preference to men, so despite being straight, I kept getting notifications about women I might be interested in as well.
What would you do when you came across something illegal?
In the case of child porn, we would pull down the site and contact the FBI.
I used to work in a data center and I was responsible for the abuse department serving thousands of servers, so seeing scammers trying to rip people off could be off-putting for some people, but it's run-of-the-mill on the Internet for me.