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However, the policy and the UCMJ will apply to the active duty officer, that is going to be the focus of any investigation into fraternization.
Most of the time, the enlisted member is not charged.
The excerpt above is not from the UCMJ it is from the Coast Guard Policy.
So, if fraternization was found to exist, the Coast Guard could adminstratively separate the reservist for the conduct, not necessary for UCMJ to apply.
I think it depends on (a) whether this is part of a larger pattern of over-stepping or inappropriate nosiness/judginess, (b) how annoyed you are (which might depend a bit on what her tone and manner were when she talked to you), and (c) whether you’re concerned that she might do something similarly out-of-line to another colleague in the future.
If you do decide to say something, you could say, “Can I ask you about what you said the other day about my lunches?
My husband and I work for the same mid-size government agency as senior level managers.
We are in different departments, our job duties and direct colleagues/reports do not intersect, and our offices are not near each other.
The nature of operations and personnel interactions on cutters and small shore units makes romantic relationships between members assigned to such units the equivalent of relationships in the chain of command and, therefore, unacceptable.
This policy applies regardless of rank, grade, or position.
Service members married to Service members, or otherwise closely related (e.g., parent/child, siblings), shall maintain requisite respect and decorum attending the official military relationship between them while either is on duty or in uniform in public.
Members married to members or otherwise closely related shall not be assigned in the same chain of command.
I thought about it afterwards, and I was surprised.